Following on from three ongoing competitions, one of which has been played over 100 times, we drive off the first tee. In the bar – where else? – at Aberdovey we have heard it said, “the par 4s are long enough to cover Greece’s debts”, and “the rough is tough enough.” We keep strictly to the fairway. Open with a bogey on a grotesquely long par 4, with a surprisingly flat landscape in front of us. We check the scorecard – 7 par 4s measuring between 415 and 467 yards. The driver is polished in secret. According to 2012 British rankings, this course is No.1 for courses under £50. Unexpectedly we encounter  the Fear of Borth on the 4th and drive hard out to the right – far from the footpaths. This stretch runs 90 degrees to the sand dunes that provide protection against the sea and marshland.

Holes 7 and 8 are parallel par 5s, marginally longer than the course’s par 4s. We test our strength. Restart. A calming breath. Suddenly, our  swing is there.  From the 9th hole the force is with us. The 11th hole, a tricky par 3, tests our skills. A  pass mark. The 12th is a mammoth par 4 that is challenged by a birdie chance. The 14th  a half-blind, 221-yard par 3 – a familiar feeling. We drive towards the left and head right. The novice hits a pitch of Tiger-class – but finishes over par. Suddenly we change terrain – dunes. The 15th is a world-class links hole. A hole that can be found on all championship courses where the cheques are handed out. Mr J wins 5 and 3.

The 16th – a short par 4 with elevated tee – we go for the green. It burns – just like the haunted hotel that stands on an overhanging peak – when an obvious birdie becomes a messy bogey. The 17th disappears into the multitude. The 18^th is yet another par 3 over 200 yards. We take three strides towards the spike bar with fewer balls in the bag, 6 629 yards under the belt and longing for more real links courses on the mind.