We arrive as a result of hearsay and expectation. A classic links course by the sea. With the twins – Lundin & Leven – a golfing society. The Swedish flag is raised. The Hybrid King arrives in shiny shoes and immaculate creases, dressed in white and bright yellow. The course, like its neighbours, clings to the sea, but is that enough? The weekend tournament is taking place on the sister course, Craighead Links. We read the course guide and commit to memory all the out-of-bounds hazards. The view over the course and the sea from the clubhouse’s interior is delightful. The club’s pro meets us at the first hole and apart from informing us about Italian putting strokes advises us to start from the white tees. We make our traditional choice of delight and head off into links land. On the 2nd hole we end up on the beach collecting our white gold. On the 3rd whole – a par 3 – with the sea as our nearest neighbour, the Hybrid King makes his entrance. After having written his name in Helvetica script he lands the ball with ease next to the flag. LINKS75 struggles to hole our balls with sweat running down our foreheads.
4th green, Crail
On the 4th tee a member suddenly appears and announces that we SHOULD play from the white tee – quite insistently. The Hybrid King fires off a dazzling smile and praises the choice of delight. The 4th flirts with the water but we make our way along and chip for an eagle. The course bites back on the 5th – Hell’s Hole -, a drooling beast that is forced onto its knees when the Hybrid King screws himself up with an extra twist – Arial! On the 7th – a par 4 – LINKS75 with a smoothly swung spoon lands three meters from the flag. it still tastes of eagle when we leave the ball a few dimples short. On the 8th the Hybrid King is forced to retreat 100 yards before he adjusts his bow-tie and calmly utters some choice quotes in the fourth dimension before slowly rolling his ball towards an expectant double flag. We head toward the clubhouse with the help of some long but unexceptional holes where Korea walks off. The 13th – a par 3 that plays like a par 4 – is uphill with elephant grass and a car park to the right. We hit low shots and smile at bogeys. The 14th is a stand out par 3, downhill with sleeper-lined bunkers in front of the green and the sea behind. Links love.
14th, Crail
The Hybrid King waits for the right wind and the 16th hole. On the neighbouring hole someone hits over the wall, swears in a broad Scottish dialect and dutifully walks briskly back in compliance with protocol. The audience once again roars its approval for the Hybrid King’s swing in slow motion that could write the name of all English Prime Ministers from 1934 on.
Two holes remain and the Hybrid King is hailed as the great artist he is before we disrobe from our stage costumes and consume a classic haddock.
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